Why We Coach

Question #48 of the free 50 Power Questions asks this: “If you had to guess your life purpose (from looking at your life to date), what would it be?

That’s a great question, and it seems only fair to share our answers with you as you evaluate us as potential partners and coaches. Up until 2002, we would have each answered that question by listing our individual successes and educational credentials. Advanced degrees—even a doctorate: check. Sought-after speakers: check. Name recognition—even TV shows: check. Dream jobs: check. Stellar reputations: check. We had it all. Our careers completely fulfilled us and let us journey with others through all stages of life: births, marriages, divorces, disappointments, death.

But then things changed. There’s no easy way to say (much less put into print) your deepest and darkest mistakes, but ours were significant.  We had an affair with each other, a choice that had reverberating consequences, not just in our lives but also in the lives of the people we loved dearly.  We confessed it and went our separate ways, hoping to mend our broken marriages and recover from the hurt that our actions had on ourselves, our beliefs and our families. We eventually lost much that mattered (jobs, marriages, homes, friendships) and had to start long individual journeys towards reconciliation, understanding and forgiveness (especially self-forgiveness). It’s embarrassing to admit to such failure – a story we’re certainly not proud of - but it’s part of what has made us who we are today and we own our own history.

But there’s a big part of us that also believes that this painful past also empowers us to be better coaches.  We are life coaches because we know what it’s like to question every core fiber of your being.  We know failure on multiple levels. We know what it’s like to face consequences for poor choices. We know how hard it is to forgive others. We know that it’s even harder at times to forgive yourself and allow happiness back in. We know how important it is to live in alignment with your values and the dangers of living behind a façade, trying to be what everyone else thinks you should be and not looking into your own soul. We know what it’s like to be judged—sometimes with good reason, sometimes without. We know how hard it is to heal, that word that gets tossed around so easily but whose true depth and meaning can be so elusive, so circular. We know what it’s like to re-evaluate our entire lives, our pictures of God, and our self-identities. We know true pain. And we know that there can be true redemption and true happiness again.

So when the question is asked about life purpose based upon our lives to date, we hope you can appreciate why we’re passionate and humble about coaching!   We love empowering people—helping them experience freedom from guilt, shame, fear, boredom, pressure and the other things that keep us chained to our hamster wheels, spinning round and round but never moving forward. We also hope that our life experience can help encourage others who might be faced with rebuilding life from ground zero!  Maybe inviting a coach into your life might help prevent your crash and burn?  Maybe you’ve already faced your shadow side and need help figuring out where to go now?  Maybe you have dreams you still want to make happen?  Maybe you’ve all but given up and need a reminder that it’s never too late?  Whatever the case, we are energized by your stories and journeys and we will always be nonjudgmental, hopeful and real with you.